I remember the last day of 2019, at a house party (back when we could gather and celebrate in groups), with a strong desire to experience something NEW other than my repetitive anxieties, worries and pains of 2019. I was ending my first year as a new business owner, exhausted mentally and quite frankly on the verge of breakdown. But that night something changed in me, in a moment of peace and clarity, I knew what I wanted from 2020.
In the first journal entry of 2020, I wrote: 'This year I step into my power. I take my gifts and multiply them. I let myself receive. [...] I am light. This year I become me. My business will grow. No fear of what's to come. My life's work is worth my time. Every day I get up and I choose forward'.
Wow. Still getting goosebumps reading this. How did I know? How did I so strongly manifest my future? Like the saying goes: 'The only way to predict the future is to create it.'
I feel so emotional and so grateful for my past self, to have set such a strong intention for 2020. And I can tell you a long story short, everything happened in full alignment with those intentions, despite not knowing the 'how' I was going to get there.
One morning, on 8 January, still living with my ex, in a house where his loud neighbours were basically living in our bedroom, because we could hear everything they did, banged, dropped, shouted, I got woken up at 6am by them and had this strong loud thought: 'I don't have to be here anymore.' (To be read that I was forcing myself to be happy and peaceful in a house that sadly never felt like home and in that moment I decided to let go.)
The same morning I wrote in my journal three words for 2020: Abundant, connected, empowered. I remember repeating those words in my head and out load so many times...abundant, connected, empowered. Abundant, connected, empowered. Abundant, connected, empowered. I knew this is the only way to connect deeply with these intentions. Repeat them, affirm them and embody them.
If before this year I still doubted the power of intention and manifestation, or my own ability to change my life and circumstances, I now enter 2021 knowing 100% that we are the creators of our lives and realities.
This was a long introduction to say that in 2020:
- I bought my first home in London
- I made more money than in any other previous year (which is not an obscene amount; it is just more than I ever made, lol)
- I feel more like myself and connected to my spirit and purpose than ever.
Despite achieving such incredible things in 2020, it was not an easy year. Starting with a breakup, moving house twice, experiencing the mental effects of the pandemic, the inertia, financial uncertainty at first and working through a LOT of emotional trauma and unhealthy patterns. Needless to say that at the end of this year, I felt utterly exhausted.
I feel this is a good time to honour what I have learned in 2020:
- I learned that I can do and overcome hard things
- I learned that I can grow and evolve (i used to ask myself all the time: 'Can I even change? Can I get better? Can this get better for me? And the answer is YES with proof and everything!)
- I learned to recognise my trauma and my patterns that held me back, to work with them and heal them gradually
- I learned business
- I learned how to put myself in other people's shoes more
- I learned to love and forgive myself more for the betrayal behaviours done out of survival and deep hurt
After these BIG changes and milestones, it is hard to know where to take my intentions for the New Year. We're still in the midst of a pandemic and the future seems uncertain and unpredictable.
Yet, I have once again have these loud thoughts and feelings about what I want to create in 2021.
This year I will focus my energy on making my house a home, curating every little corner of it and creating an oasis of peace and calm. I also want to nurture my little business, well&fed, which has brought me so many rewards and needs me to look after it so that it keeps growing and providing good food, coffee and vibes for people. And finally, I want to connect and spend more time with friends and family, while meeting new people. Fun comes to mind too! :)
I guess in 2021 I just want to live my life fully, celebrate and enjoy my home, my achievements and my growth as a human. On a selfless level, I want to be able to forgive even easier, to help more and let go quicker of what no longer serves me.
How about you? What are you 2021 intentions?